How To Be A Gentleman Today

Here are the 5 best ways to be a gentleman today

As social norms continue to change, the concept of what it means to be a gentleman is a bit blurry.

Once upon a time, the standard narrative was that men needed to attract and impress a woman. If all goes well, marriage and children and everything else that comes with the storyline could be on the horizon.

But now, with gender fluidity and more generally accepted sexual orientations, expectations of how men should behave during courtship and even in everyday life have changed dramatically.

Although times have changed, the classic gentleman stereotype can still inspire you, and you can apply it to your unique romantic life if you're looking to set yourself apart from the dating competition.


So, here are five simple ways to stay chivalrous and embrace your inner gentleman in the early stages of courtship and beyond.

Watch Your Manners

One of the easiest ways to bring out your worst gentlemanly self is through the way you carry yourself.

These are small actions you take that can have a big impact on your date, your significant other, or the people around you. They range from holding the door for your date when entering and exiting a building to chewing with your mouth closed.

So whether you're opening your car door for your date or leaving your date on the inside of the sidewalk as you walk down the street, you're incorporating the small gestures of a classic gentleman and telling your date that you value them.

Maintain Basic Hygiene

Some may not agree that maintaining "basic" hygiene is the gentlemanly thing to do, but this is listed here because more and more people don't consider how their own personal grooming habits may affect those around them, especially when dating.

A gentleman, on the other hand, is self-aware about how he looks and smells, and when it comes to dating, he knows that his success rate will be higher when he demonstrates hygienic self-care.

When a man hasn't brushed his teeth, hasn't bothered to shower, and has stains on his shirt, how are you -- a potential date -- supposed to infer his ability to take care of you to the best of his ability?


This is not superficial "just appearance" but basic hygiene that a gentleman understands and practices for himself and others. Smells pleasant, looks clean and exudes confidence.

Pick Up The Tab On The First Date

Splitting the bill – aka “ditching” – is more common than ever, and it’s completely acceptable.

However, if you're on a first date, gentlemen know to take care of the bills by default. Sure, it's okay to be wary of people who just want a free meal — they're out there, folks — but if you're interested in a potential partner and you've invited them on a date, go for it them. Label.

Not paying for a first date, unless it's been discussed beforehand, sends the message that you view this person more as a friend than a potential love interest. A gentleman knows this and will always stay classy by picking up the first bill.

Stay Emotionally Mature

A true gentleman knows how to express himself and his feelings authentically, and he is able to do so in a way that does not demand or expect an immediate response from his date.

This is because gentlemen have high emotional intelligence and can express their true feelings without external verification. He can share his feelings, his opinions—and most importantly, himself—and know that he is enough.

The opposite of being a gentleman is reacting emotionally or lashing out when your date doesn't respond the way you'd like or does something to upset you. Gentlemen know that the key here is emotional regulation and curiosity guidance.

This gentleman is able to detach and examine his own discomfort from a distance and then ask his date what she means by what she said or ask for clarification as to why they did what they did. In doing so, he creates a strong person within himself and his partner can be their truest and most vulnerable self.

Be Respectful

Respect is a sneaky gentlemanly quality that pays off handsomely, and goes well beyond sustaining your "pleases" and "thank yous."

A true gentleman shines when his default programming prompts him to react adversely to external circumstances. By being respectful to your date or significant other—even if it's challenging—you're laying a solid foundation for a healthy potential relationship and looking like an OG no matter the situation.

If your date or someone else reacts in an emotionally immature way, you don't have to play along with them. Instead, you can recognize their reactivity, stay calm, and respond thoughtfully. You can't control what others say or do, but you can control yourself, and being respectful even in the face of disrespect is powerful.

But being a gentleman takes work. Like any positive habit, the more you do it, the easier and more natural it becomes. The more you incorporate a gentlemanly mentality into your daily life and focus on taking gentlemanly actions, the more gentlemanly you will be today.